Fat Bottomed Girls
by Katie Holla Queen
Summary: Alice makes her older brother Edward accompany her to a work party and Edward finds Bella dancing. Lemons to come if enough people like the idea. AU/AH BxE
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I only came to this stupid work dance thing so my sister wouldn't be alone and because I knew there would be hell to pay if she went alone. She begged and pleaded and told me she would absolutely die of humiliation if her co-workers saw she didn't have a date.

Being the nice supportive big brother I was I came to help my little sister out. She is after all a master mind at seeking revenge and I preferred not having all my cloths burned in the fireplace. I had to hand it to her only burning my left socks last time (yes I can tell a difference) made me furious but it certainly got her point across.

Alice had even rented me a tux to wear. I had no idea it was that dressy of a party until I saw the tux. The theme of the night was apparently prom or something because everyone was dressed formal.

I had been here for an hour and lost complete track of my sister. She was off talking to someone and completely ignoring me.

All of a sudden this girl caught my eye and I must saw she was one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever seen. She had on a dress that looked like it came straight from the '60s but it was amazing. The dress was the perfect length for me to see her legs just above her knees. It was low cut and it showed off every facet of her body. She was dancing by herself and laughed occasionaly, I guessed trying to make herself feel less akward.

She danced as if she could put on earphones and just ignore the rest of the world. She was completely comfortable in her own skin and I could understand why, she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. As I watched I saw my sister was up to and they started talking about something. _I wish I knew what she was saying. I need that girl. _

I was startled at my own thoughts. I was not the type of guy to fall for anyone. I liked sex, I mean come on what guy doesn't but I had never had a meaningful relationship. The way the girl smiled made my heart melt.

She danced with my sister and I started laughing when I realized what song it was. Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen. How ironic.

_ Are you gonna take me home tonight  
Ah, down beside that red firelight  
Are you gonna let it all hang out  
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin world go round_

I countined laughing and just watched the two girls on the dance floor have fun with the song. They looked like they were having a blast and kept giggling the whole time making every guy watch.

After the song was over they both started walking my way still laughing as one of their drunker coworkers hooted and whistled at them.

Alice looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. She must have trying to read my expression as I looked at the two girls. "Edward you could have come over and danced too. We both know you wanted too." I blushed for one of the rare moments in my life and she then introduced me to the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. "Edward, this is my lovely intern Miss Bella Swan. Bella this is my goofy but lovable brother Edward."

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**Author's Note:**

**In the midst of the hurricane/tropical storm I didn't have much to do except listen to my ipod which is where this came from. I mean come on, who doesn't love Queen? **

**Should I keep going or drop this one?**


	2. Chapter 1

_Chapter One - Alice Preparing  
_

**Alice POV**

I had been debating on this for a few days now. _Should I really do this? The poor girl might quit once she meets him. He can be an ass but then again he is blood and he is lonely and she did that picture and thought he was gorgeous. Fine whatever, we need dresses asap._

I pushed my finger onto the intercom button on the phone knowing my assistant would answer it as soon as she saw it beep. "Bella can I see you in here please."

Less then ten seconds later she was at the door with her notepad in hand. _Why does carry that damn thing? _

I had to hand it to her she was beautiful. Not quite his type but he needed a change. The dumb blondes he kept bringing home were annoying the crap out of me. Bella was to sweet to be as annoying and preppy as them. Her fashion sense could use some work though. Her outfit today was dreadful. She was dressed in what looked like pajama pants that were just a solid blue color and an old t-shirt.

"Bella what are you wearing? You work for a fashion magazine not a Star Wars magazine. Geez."

She rolled her eyes. "You know I'm only an intern Alice. Besides what readers actually come here and check out the assistants. I'm not writing anything about the dos or do-nots of fashion like you and I'm not Mary the receptionist so people who come in the doors aren't required to speak to me."

I loved this girl. She was one of the few assistants I had seen that was not afraid to speak back. I never did understand why she agreed to work with me if she hated fashion so much but she was adorable and we had been friends for years.

"Whatever. Anyway Bella I have a favor to ask. We need the car here in a few moments. The two of have to go shopping. Aren't you excited?" I laughed as her nose wrinkled up in disgust.

"Not another shopping spree for me Alice? You know I never wear the stuff you've bought me over the years anyway."

"No silly Bella. We need to get dresses for prom! Remember we have to get you all dressed up for the night so you can seduce my poor brother." I winked at her.

She looked at me like I was crazy. "I don't want to _seduce_ him. I just thought the picture you have is cute and since I never see him I thought you'd like to introduce us. You are after all one of my best friends."

Bella and I had gone back a few years since we took a class together in college. I couldn't honestly tell you what class it was because we never paid attention. We talked about everyone that was in the class and just hung out a lot. I offered her the job a couple of weeks ago hoping that maybe if she was around fashionable people she might magically require an eye for herself.

So we went shopping and we both found dresses we fell in love with. Her dress wasn't very prom but it fit her amazingly and I realized who would really care.

At first everyone that worked here teased me incessantly for hiring the sweat pant girl but they all fell in love with her personality. There were even a couple of guys that worked the magazine that asked if she was dating anyone but I always told them to leave my intern alone. She refused to let me call her my assistant so I called her my intern when introducing her.

**The Night of the Dance**

I went over to Bella's apartment a couple of hours beforehand to help her with her make-up. The girl was absolutely clueless when it came to make-up. _Seriously. How does a twenty year old not know how to apply mascara?_

"Alice is there anything I should know before you introduce us? He doesn't have like webbed fingers or something does he?"

I rolled my eyes still making sure her blush was the perfect tone to match everything. "No Bella you'll be fine. Just try not to fall on your ass to much."

She giggled as she knew the request was to much for her. "Yeah right. I can't walk along a completely flat surface without falling on my face at least once and you expect me to dance? Dream on."

I finished up her make-up and finally let her see herself in the mirror. I was pleased when I heard her sigh of relief.

I kissed her on the top of her head and started to walk out the door. "You okay to drive yourself Bella? I don't want to abandon you but I do kinda want to surprise him."

"Yeah I'll be fine Alice. Go. I'll see you in thirty minutes anyway."

I let the door shut behind me and walked down a couple of flights upstairs and across the parking area to my apartment. I still thought it was funny she didn't know we lived in the same complex and we had been friends for years. Whenever we wanted to sit around, get drunk, and laugh at cheesy movies we always went to Rosalie or Bella's place. _Maybe the idea of a male version of me scares them?_

I chuckled as I opened my apartment room door and saw my brother laying on the couch with his tux on. "Get up! You are going to wrinkle that damned thing and look like a freaking mess in front of all my friends."

He glanced over at me and gave me an are you kidding look. "Alice I'm only going because Jasper's out of town on a business trip. I'm not trying to impress anyone."

"You don't know who you'll meet tonight. Now are you ready to go or am I going to leave you here?"

_If only you knew the girl of your dreams is going to be there tonight. I know you are perfect for each other. _

He shrugged and I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door. "For all you know you could meet the most beautiful girl you have ever seen tonight. Now act like your happy or something. Please?"

He looked at me with cheesiest look on his face and I knew it was going to work out. _They have to like each other right? I mean I can't be wrong, can I?_

_**x End Chapter x**_

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**Author's Note:**

**I hope this chapter read okay. Bella's POV at the dance is the next chapter if ya'll want it. **

**You know the drill guys. I'm a review whore.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Dance With Me**

**Bella POV**

Saying I really hated getting dressed up was an understatement. I hate wearing dresses. I have never been a girly girl for as long as I have lived. I hate dresses. I hate wearing make-up (it makes me feel fake).

But I work for a fashion magazine.

And Alice planned this huge ball dance bash thing and being her assistant, I had to be there. At least she didn't pull a Devil's Wears Prada move on me and make me memorize a whole much of people's names. I was just going to help a friend out. To make her happy.

And maybe it helped knowing her brother was there.

Edward. I had only seen him a few times in real life and he never realized who I was but he was gorgeous. He would never be attracted to a plain girl like me but meh a girl can still fantasize can't she? He was gorgeous and physically perfect.

The only problem was he went though girls like I go though notebooks writing down everything Alice says and he would never be attracted to me. I'm so plain. So simple.

So Bella.

I would much rather have had a night sitting in my pjs, watching old 80s movies and eating a bowl of ice cream. Then be going to this stupid ball. It was stupid.

Fashion.

Who needs it? Besides Rosalie and Alice and almost the entire rest of the world.

I walked into the ballroom and for the first time in my life the people that I worked with looked at me. Looked at me. Saw me and gasped. And not in a bad way.

I'm not going to lie it felt good.

Fuck it felt amazing. Maybe I could seduce Edward Cullen after all.

I made a pft sound that only I could hear. Yeah right Bella Swan, dream on.

I fluttered around the room until I saw Alice and Rosalie come in. I happily went over to them with three martinis carefully balanced in-between my fingers. Who knew being a waitress to put myself though college would ever pay off. They each took their drinks and within a minute we knew we would need another. We walked back to the bar our arms all linked and chided the bartender to make us another.

After a few drinks dancing seemed to be a lot more of an acceptable idea and i did just that. I danced with Rosalie first and then Alice stole me away. Before I knew it I was dancing with guys left and right. The same guys that thought I was crazy for wearing sweat pants to my first day of work.

I will always remember Tyler walking up to me on the first day and asking me if I forgot to change out of pjs. He thought I was crazy when i just told him I didn't care about fashion and that'd I rather be comfortable.

Everyone at Lure wore their best every single day. Except me.

_Now where are you Edward Cullen?_

I spotted him across the room talking with Jacob the security guy for the building. I grabbed Alice's wrist and twisted her away from Rosalie just as the song changed. It was Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen.

"Bella if you are going to make my brother want you you have to dance. Come on."

I rolled my eyes. I never did understand why we were trying so incredibly hard to get him to fall for me. If he didn't want me then fine. I'd move on. I guess I just wanted to give myself one more chance.

So we danced and pretty soon I realized everyone was watching the two of us. I don't know if I was actually becoming less shy around these people, the fact I had had a little too much to drink or both but for once i let everyone watch. I was the center of attention.

As the song ended we were both laughing incredibly hard. I heard a couple of hoots from the guys but I figured they were just being goofy. Even Jacob and Edward clapped.

She laced her hand in mine and whispered in my ear, "Just breathe Bella Swan. It's just the male version of me."

I jokingly shuddered and she rolled her eyes. She winked at me one more time then spoke, "Edward you could have come over and danced too. We both know you wanted too." For the first time tonight I blushed. _I need more alcohol. _I looked into his eyes sheepishly and to my surprise he was blushing too. _Huh?_

She was delighted when she realized this was awkward on all accounts, "Edward, this is my lovely intern Miss Bella Swan. Bella this is my goofy but lovable brother Edward."

He held out his hand and I happily took it, "It's a pleasure to meet you Bella."

"The pleasure is all mine. Would you care you dance? I promise I won't step on your feet."

"I can't promise the same. I'm kinda a klutz."

"You'll be fine. Just follow my lead. You'll be perfect, I promise."

And with that we were on the dance floor. And the world seemed to stop.

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X End Chapter X

**Come on guys review! I happen to love the way the story is going. This story has gotten absolutely no love whatsoever in the poll.  
**

**And yes there will be a lemon soon. It would come up a lot faster in this story then in MBE. I figure they are older in this one plus I just need to write a lemon soon. Sex & Candy was written quite a while ago and I haven't written one since.**

**So you know what to do. Review and email me your opinions.**

**And I am super sorry to anyone who didn't want this to BPOV. I just felt it was needed.**


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